So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
