I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
