I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
