If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
