just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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