Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
