um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
