They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
