guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
