you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She announced her abortion via fbk
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
