the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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