have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
