He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
