You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
