Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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