but the lizard people decide everything anyway
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
