Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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