After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
