I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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