I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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