I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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