fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
