i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
