Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
