Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!