Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
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Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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