The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
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He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
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Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.