fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
