dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
