Tell her she can't have a vagina
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
