took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
