Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Please, let me fuck your mom
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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