What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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