I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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