This is not my ceiling
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
