Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Are my feet made of real feet?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
