I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
