Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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