Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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