I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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