I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize