What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
