Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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