So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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