Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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