I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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