Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
