my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The Olympian is in my bed
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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