bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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