She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
