I just saw a hot homeless man
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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