we have officially lost it.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha