forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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