You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.