New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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