My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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