i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize