Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i think i just lost a toe
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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