when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
