I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
