So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hippo gnu deer
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
