I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
