Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize