Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
