I think i peed on brittanys purse
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
