How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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