Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
