I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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